A. A great place to relax and have a good time with like-minded people.

B. An opportunity to try out pickup lines that Commander Riker used.

C. A giant dealer’s room that costs $50 just to walk around in.

D. A chance to pin an editor into a corner so I can pitch my Star Trek/Dark Angel crossover fanfic novel.

E. The machination of some fanboy in order to snare his favorite author in a cheap hotel for a whole weekend so he or she can autograph all of the fan’s books.

2. I like Dragon*Con because:

A. It’s ten miles from my house.

B. WorldCon is too far away and too expensive.

C. My favorite actor, Richard Hatch, attends every year.

D. My mom wouldn’t buy me a plane ticket to San Jose for WorldCon.

E. I can write up a trip report and sell it to Starlog or SF Chronicle, then write off the whole trip on my taxes.

F. It’s the only place in the Southeast where one can find a Miskatonic University window decal.

3. I like WorldCon because:

A. I can be in the same room as Gardner Dozois.

B. I can confront that evil editor about why he or she never publishes my stuff.

C. I can wander around whatever cool city it’s in that year.

D. I can wander around whatever cool hotel it’s in that year and never have to go outside.

E. I can write up a trip report and sell it to SF Chronicle, then write off the whole trip on my taxes.

4. My favorite con activity is:

A. Attending writing panels.

B. Attending television or movie panels.

C. The Masquerade.

D. Filking.

E. Getting drunk and stumbling from room party to room party hitting on anything that breathes.

5. The guest I would most like to see at my favorite convention is:

A. Ray Bradbury.

B. Harlan Ellison.

C. Charles Brown.

D. Ferdinand Feghoot.

E. The actor who portrayed the Vulcan gong-ringer in the Star Trek episode "Amok Time".

6. My favorite part of a convention is:

A. The freebie tables.

B. The Masquerade.

C. Room parties.

D. The Dealer’s Room.

E. The Consuite..

F. All of it.

G. The end.

7. The Dealer’s Room is great because:

A. Where else can you find a Starfleet Academy beer cozie?

B. It’s a great place to unload all of my old crap.

C. It’s a great place to find bootleg cassettes of Flesh Gordon and A Boy And His Dog: Blockbuster swag for discount prices.

D. It’s real easy to shoplift.

E. Some magazines and books are free, and I can go home and sell them on Ebay.

8. I will get to my favorite convention by:

A. Car

B. Bus

C. Train

D. Airplane

9. Once there, I plan on sleeping in:

A. My car.

B. A single hotel room along with ten other people to share the cost.

C. The street.

D. The hotel lobby.

10. I paid $20-$50 for a celebrity’s autograph so I could:

A. Give it to a friend who couldn’t attend.

B. Sell it on Ebay.

C. Frame it and hang it in my bedroom.

D. Enshrine it and bring it burnt offerings.

11. To save money during a con I:

A. Try to sneak in with a fake badge.

B. Fill up on consuite munchies so I won’t have to buy lunch.

C. Ask everyone in the dealer’s room if they have anything for free.

D. Sleep in my car.

E. Bring ten other people and get the discount rate.

12. I won’t be attending my favorite con this year because:

A. The computer company I worked for shut down, taking my job and 401(K) with it.

B. I’m tired of all the vampire wannabes threatening to prick my jugular with their finger armor.

C. My wife/girlfriend said that if she had to sit through another Andromeda panel with Kevin Sorbo discussing his biceps she would file for divorce/break up with me.

D. I can’t get Thursday and Friday before Labor Day off, because the boss is still mad at me for calling in sick to go see Star Wars: Episode II.

E. Apollo Smile won’t be there.

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